The first time Phil & I played tennis, I was a little rusty. I hadn't played in three months. The final score was The Dark Side 7, The Force 3. Last Friday we played again, and I was out for revenge.
Our ball boy helped keep score so they'd be no disputes. Of course, as he didn't speak English, he only told Phil the score, so for all I know Phil could have ignored him. Someone was always watching from beside the court or above from the restaurant, and at one point we had an audience large enough to make me nervous. I didn't do phenomenally, but much better than the last time. We were at an even 5 games each, and it came down to deuce. In the end, Phil took the game to win the set. But we're moving in the right direction, so next time, he better watch out.
The exercise that I really want to do now is snowboarding. The past few days have been very cold, and classical conditioning makes me long for some fresh powder I can sink my Salomon Maiden into. I could travel to Bariloche in Argentina or Portillo in Chile, but there's no worthwhile ski resorts in Brazil. The good news is that if I don't make it to the slopes during this trip, Tahoe will be white with inviting glory soon after I return.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Kidnapped!
No, not me. My friend João, a few years ago. He's the only person I know who's been kidnapped, although many co-workers have been robbed, sometimes at gunpoint.
It was 3 a.m. and he was driving in his Mom's expensive car, sporting a nice suit because he'd come from a friend's formal party. At a red light, two guys reached through the rolled down windows, opened the door and ordered him to the backseat. They demanded all his money, but they chose the wrong guy at the wrong time.
João's wallet consisted of two reais (about $1.00) and two bus tickets worth 75 cents each. His credit card wasn't on him. They actually pocketed the 2 reais and bus tickets (did they end up using them?) and asked for access to his bank account. He said he only had 80 reais - around 45 dollars - in the account. The thieves wouldn't accept that a guy that was dressed so well and driving a fancy car could have such a meager balance. They also couldn't believe that João didn't have a cell phone - for God's sake, this was 2003.
They threatened to beat him up if he didn't give everything he had, so he offered his quality leather shoes. "Those aren't even nice!" one of them laughed. They wanted tennis shoes, which are expensive in Brazil. Instead, they stole his watch, a cheap Swatch one that replaced the nice one he lost.
But this treasure combined with João's H&M jacket didn't satisfy them enough to let him go. So finally, he pulled out a bank card from a secret pouch in his wallet. They drove to the ATM, but it was an unsuccessful venture. In this country, you can't withdraw money from an ATM between 10 pm and 6am.
The situation frustrated the two guys more with every minute. They argued the entire time, which was a good sign, and created somewhat of a comedy routine. João refers to them as "Smartie" and "Dumbass." When Dumbass looked through a group of photos in the glove compartment, Smartie said, "Stop that. Those aren't yours."
Things went from bad to worse when they put João in the trunk. It was then that he got scared. He laid on some bricks and just waited. The thought of this makes my stomach turn with fear. I can't imagine being trapped in a car, with no one knowing where I am, and no idea of when or even if I would ever get out.
But eventually the trunk opened, and the men released him. The whole event lasted one hour. Strangely, they didn't take the car. Smartie actually helped João close his door before he drove away.
Moral of the story: If you're in Brazil, drive a crappy car.
It was 3 a.m. and he was driving in his Mom's expensive car, sporting a nice suit because he'd come from a friend's formal party. At a red light, two guys reached through the rolled down windows, opened the door and ordered him to the backseat. They demanded all his money, but they chose the wrong guy at the wrong time.
João's wallet consisted of two reais (about $1.00) and two bus tickets worth 75 cents each. His credit card wasn't on him. They actually pocketed the 2 reais and bus tickets (did they end up using them?) and asked for access to his bank account. He said he only had 80 reais - around 45 dollars - in the account. The thieves wouldn't accept that a guy that was dressed so well and driving a fancy car could have such a meager balance. They also couldn't believe that João didn't have a cell phone - for God's sake, this was 2003.
They threatened to beat him up if he didn't give everything he had, so he offered his quality leather shoes. "Those aren't even nice!" one of them laughed. They wanted tennis shoes, which are expensive in Brazil. Instead, they stole his watch, a cheap Swatch one that replaced the nice one he lost.
But this treasure combined with João's H&M jacket didn't satisfy them enough to let him go. So finally, he pulled out a bank card from a secret pouch in his wallet. They drove to the ATM, but it was an unsuccessful venture. In this country, you can't withdraw money from an ATM between 10 pm and 6am.
The situation frustrated the two guys more with every minute. They argued the entire time, which was a good sign, and created somewhat of a comedy routine. João refers to them as "Smartie" and "Dumbass." When Dumbass looked through a group of photos in the glove compartment, Smartie said, "Stop that. Those aren't yours."
Things went from bad to worse when they put João in the trunk. It was then that he got scared. He laid on some bricks and just waited. The thought of this makes my stomach turn with fear. I can't imagine being trapped in a car, with no one knowing where I am, and no idea of when or even if I would ever get out.
But eventually the trunk opened, and the men released him. The whole event lasted one hour. Strangely, they didn't take the car. Smartie actually helped João close his door before he drove away.
Moral of the story: If you're in Brazil, drive a crappy car.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Whoops
Bravery with speaking a foreign language leads to a lot of mistakes. Here are just some phrases that I've butchered:
Meant to say: I gave everyone in the office a nickname. (Eu dei um apelido para todo mundo no escritório)
Actually said: I gave everyone in the office a last name. (Eu dei um sobrenome para todo mundo no escritório)
Meant to say: I'm excited! (Estou animada!)
Actually said: I'm horny! (Estou excitada!)
Meant to say: It depends on the accent. (Depende do sotaque)
Actually said: It depends on the ankle sock. (Depende do soquete)
Meant to say: You are mature. (Você é madura)
Actually said: You are marinated. (Você é maturada)
"Mature" in Portuguese translated to ripe, so I don't know which is worse...
Meant to say: Do you have a car? (Você tem carro?)
Actually said: Do you have leather? (Você tem couro?)
Meant to say: I would kill you. (Vou te matar)
Actually said: I would die. (Vou morrer)
Meant to say: It's great because it doesn't have any preservatives. (E ótimo porque não tem salvaguardas).
Actually said: It's great because it doesn't have any condoms. (E ótimo porque não tem preservativos).
When looking for a conference room with Ricardo...
Meant to say: Where's the meeting room? (Onde fica a sala de reuniões?)
Actually said: Where's the bedroom? (Onde fica o quarto?)
And those are just the ones I'm aware of!
Meant to say: I gave everyone in the office a nickname. (Eu dei um apelido para todo mundo no escritório)
Actually said: I gave everyone in the office a last name. (Eu dei um sobrenome para todo mundo no escritório)
Meant to say: I'm excited! (Estou animada!)
Actually said: I'm horny! (Estou excitada!)
Meant to say: It depends on the accent. (Depende do sotaque)
Actually said: It depends on the ankle sock. (Depende do soquete)
Meant to say: You are mature. (Você é madura)
Actually said: You are marinated. (Você é maturada)
"Mature" in Portuguese translated to ripe, so I don't know which is worse...
Meant to say: Do you have a car? (Você tem carro?)
Actually said: Do you have leather? (Você tem couro?)
Meant to say: I would kill you. (Vou te matar)
Actually said: I would die. (Vou morrer)
Meant to say: It's great because it doesn't have any preservatives. (E ótimo porque não tem salvaguardas).
Actually said: It's great because it doesn't have any condoms. (E ótimo porque não tem preservativos).
When looking for a conference room with Ricardo...
Meant to say: Where's the meeting room? (Onde fica a sala de reuniões?)
Actually said: Where's the bedroom? (Onde fica o quarto?)
And those are just the ones I'm aware of!
The Japanese Festival
The 10th annual Japanese festival on Sunday was enormous, part indoors and part outdoors. You could enjoy food booths with yakisoba, mochi, sushi and sake, stations for learning how to create origami and Japanese writing, shopping for fans, jewelry, and more, massage tables, art exhibits and a flower sculpture garden. But get there early! There are more people attending this event than there are at the Superbowl.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Share the Love
PDAs are widespread in this culture. Not palm pilots. Public displays of affection, like we used to say in 6th grade.
While it's clearly better to see love and affection shared instead of violence and hate, there's a dark side called being single. Don't get me wrong - singledom is lovely. You have complete freedom, you can flirt with anyone you want, you get to hang out with your friends and family more, you have the dignity of not settling, and you don't have to deal with anyone's crap or bad moods.
But when you're in the midst of all types of people making out in public, all the time, it will start to remind you of your singleness. And when you're trying to have a serious conversation with your friend in the restaurant booth but the couple right behind him are nearly horizontal, it's distracting. Don't say I didn't warn you.
The interesting thing is that dancing at clubs in the U.S. is considered much racier than in Brazil. There are close dances, but grinding to hip-hop is not one of them.
While it's clearly better to see love and affection shared instead of violence and hate, there's a dark side called being single. Don't get me wrong - singledom is lovely. You have complete freedom, you can flirt with anyone you want, you get to hang out with your friends and family more, you have the dignity of not settling, and you don't have to deal with anyone's crap or bad moods.
But when you're in the midst of all types of people making out in public, all the time, it will start to remind you of your singleness. And when you're trying to have a serious conversation with your friend in the restaurant booth but the couple right behind him are nearly horizontal, it's distracting. Don't say I didn't warn you.
The interesting thing is that dancing at clubs in the U.S. is considered much racier than in Brazil. There are close dances, but grinding to hip-hop is not one of them.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Three Things You Do Differently When You Travel
When you travel, your lifestyle can change in slight or drastic ways, beyond what you experience. I'm talking about preference changes, internal changes, changes in you. There's two things that I do drastically different here:
1) Sleep. Or rather, not sleep. Here it's physically impossible for me to go to bed at a decent hour. When I finally lay my head on the pillow, it takes twice as long as normal to fall asleep, and I've never had insomnia before.
2) Eat. I swear being in a foreign country makes you hungrier. My hypothesis for why this occurs isn't fully developed, but I think it has something to do with the different choices in front of your face, constantly calling your name to experiment and enjoy while you can. The funny thing is, people tend to eat when they're bored. You'd expect that while living in a new place, you're more excited, occupied, and less apt to eat as an activity. But not me. And I'm not exercising more than I'm used to. Maybe I caught a fierce indigenous tapeworm. I bet the little Brazilian critter is naturally tan.
And I don't just eat more food, I eat different foods. For example, normally I'm not a chocolate person. Strangely, since I've settled in, I haven't been able to get enough. I buy bars of chocolate at the grocery store, and the hot chocolate from the coffee machine in the office is my best friend.
I also loosened my personal regulations on food. I have qualms with any meat that's been put into a grinder and spit back out. You never know what's in there. Without going into any detail, you can use your imagination. I dub this "sketchy meat." So no hot dogs, hamburgers, sausages, pot stickers, chicken nuggets, and definitely no Spam. As a foreigner in a new land, I've abandoned that rule, due to a combination of convenience, concern for politeness, desire to experiment and a feeling that this is like vacation, and on vacation the rules are out the window.
3) Watch TV. In San Francisco, I own a TV, but I don't even get the basic channels. I just watch TV for movies. Here, I veg out whenever I'm in the hotel. It's more interesting, because there's always either subtitles or dubbing to serve as education. I've become a TV freak. I have to say, On The Lot - the reality show about the directors - is captivating.
The quality of the shows I watch here is also questionable. Right now there's a Jason Priestley B-movie in the background. The other day I watched Seed of Chucky. The entire thing. And somehow I feel like it's more acceptable here to watch bad TV. I'm so far from home and I don't know what to watch. So basically being here is a giant excuse for watching anything I normally wouldn't. But I refuse to step down to the level of the local soap operas ("novelas"). There are some things I just won't do.
1) Sleep. Or rather, not sleep. Here it's physically impossible for me to go to bed at a decent hour. When I finally lay my head on the pillow, it takes twice as long as normal to fall asleep, and I've never had insomnia before.
2) Eat. I swear being in a foreign country makes you hungrier. My hypothesis for why this occurs isn't fully developed, but I think it has something to do with the different choices in front of your face, constantly calling your name to experiment and enjoy while you can. The funny thing is, people tend to eat when they're bored. You'd expect that while living in a new place, you're more excited, occupied, and less apt to eat as an activity. But not me. And I'm not exercising more than I'm used to. Maybe I caught a fierce indigenous tapeworm. I bet the little Brazilian critter is naturally tan.
And I don't just eat more food, I eat different foods. For example, normally I'm not a chocolate person. Strangely, since I've settled in, I haven't been able to get enough. I buy bars of chocolate at the grocery store, and the hot chocolate from the coffee machine in the office is my best friend.
I also loosened my personal regulations on food. I have qualms with any meat that's been put into a grinder and spit back out. You never know what's in there. Without going into any detail, you can use your imagination. I dub this "sketchy meat." So no hot dogs, hamburgers, sausages, pot stickers, chicken nuggets, and definitely no Spam. As a foreigner in a new land, I've abandoned that rule, due to a combination of convenience, concern for politeness, desire to experiment and a feeling that this is like vacation, and on vacation the rules are out the window.
3) Watch TV. In San Francisco, I own a TV, but I don't even get the basic channels. I just watch TV for movies. Here, I veg out whenever I'm in the hotel. It's more interesting, because there's always either subtitles or dubbing to serve as education. I've become a TV freak. I have to say, On The Lot - the reality show about the directors - is captivating.
The quality of the shows I watch here is also questionable. Right now there's a Jason Priestley B-movie in the background. The other day I watched Seed of Chucky. The entire thing. And somehow I feel like it's more acceptable here to watch bad TV. I'm so far from home and I don't know what to watch. So basically being here is a giant excuse for watching anything I normally wouldn't. But I refuse to step down to the level of the local soap operas ("novelas"). There are some things I just won't do.
Is Brazilian Food Healthier?
Many Brazilians think American food is crap, but I find it no more unhealthy than the food here. It's true, many Americans are fat and eat mostly burgers & fries. But these people are mostly in the midwest. On the coasts, there is such a wonderful variety of different types of food, and many people prefer the healthier options - especially on the West coast. In Brazil, a quarter of the food is fried (like strips of polenta, which I admit is much more tasty than regular polenta).
And then there's the artificial factor. There's some stuff that's just not as natural. Take Zero-Cal, which lies on every table at the hotel restaurant during breakfast. I know enough Portuguese now that I was able to generally translate the label. It's a sugar substitute in clear liquid form. It looked to be quite the cancer-causing agent in all its nutra-sweet glory. And it's common. I suppose for someone diabetic it's a viable option, but when I think of everyone replacing natural sugar, salt, toppings or sauces with Zero-Cal, I start to lose my appetite.
However, I doubt that many Americans would jump for yogurt that was oat or wheat flavored. I'd like to see an ad agency try to make that one sounds delicious. Aveia is a grain that's very common as a yogurt flavor here. And it's good.
And then there's the artificial factor. There's some stuff that's just not as natural. Take Zero-Cal, which lies on every table at the hotel restaurant during breakfast. I know enough Portuguese now that I was able to generally translate the label. It's a sugar substitute in clear liquid form. It looked to be quite the cancer-causing agent in all its nutra-sweet glory. And it's common. I suppose for someone diabetic it's a viable option, but when I think of everyone replacing natural sugar, salt, toppings or sauces with Zero-Cal, I start to lose my appetite.
However, I doubt that many Americans would jump for yogurt that was oat or wheat flavored. I'd like to see an ad agency try to make that one sounds delicious. Aveia is a grain that's very common as a yogurt flavor here. And it's good.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Current Events & Brand New Sports
By now, every nation should have heard about the plane crash in São Paulo that happened on Tuesday. A TAM airplane skidded along a resurfaced runway in heavy rain and crashed into a building across the street. About 200 people died. Although the Congonhas airport is actually very close to our office, I don't know anyone who knew anyone involved in the tragedy. At the soccer game the following day, there was a full minute of silence in remembrance of the event and people affected.
On a lighter note, something else is the newspaper is the Pan-American games. The 16-day professional sports competition is making Rio an even more popular and crowded spot than usual. When did trampoline gymnastics come into existence? Handball has been interesting to watch as I've never seen it before. It's a cross between basketball and soccer, but seems easier than both. This combination of activities got me thinking about my own idea for a new professional sport.
It's a mix of running and singing. I could call it ringing, or sunning. No, sunning sounds too lazy. Regardless of the name, I think it could really take off. Maybe become an Olympic sport. The winner is based on two factors - time and the voice recording during the entire race. The less it sounds like huffing & puffing the better, so clearly lung capacity is a factor. Quality of the cover is one component of the voice portion. If you can do something like "Blackbird" by Sarah McLachlan or Galactic's "Tenderness" which is better than the original while pounding through a half marathon, that's major points.
On a lighter note, something else is the newspaper is the Pan-American games. The 16-day professional sports competition is making Rio an even more popular and crowded spot than usual. When did trampoline gymnastics come into existence? Handball has been interesting to watch as I've never seen it before. It's a cross between basketball and soccer, but seems easier than both. This combination of activities got me thinking about my own idea for a new professional sport.
It's a mix of running and singing. I could call it ringing, or sunning. No, sunning sounds too lazy. Regardless of the name, I think it could really take off. Maybe become an Olympic sport. The winner is based on two factors - time and the voice recording during the entire race. The less it sounds like huffing & puffing the better, so clearly lung capacity is a factor. Quality of the cover is one component of the voice portion. If you can do something like "Blackbird" by Sarah McLachlan or Galactic's "Tenderness" which is better than the original while pounding through a half marathon, that's major points.
It was a gorgeous Saturday in São Paulo...
I went for a jog in the lush, beautiful Ibirapuera Park with Bibiana, Helio and Helio's wife Risa. We ran around the lagoon as I admired the trees studded with bright orange and cherry-blossom pink flowers. Afterwards, we replenished our systems at a nearby cafe that had this awesome yogurt blended with oranges and strawberries and tasty pao de quexio (balls of cheese bread), a Brazilian staple.
The rest of the day Bibiana (a.k.a . Bibi) and I got our nails done at the salon, watched "The Painted Veil" at the cinema, and found children's books in Portuguese at a Borders-style bookstore. I walked out with 3 winners: Bibi Corta O Cabelo (perfect because Bibiana did just that hours ealier), Esop's Fables (with an activity booklet!), and "Barbie Conhece o Brasil." The final piece of literature is multi-beneficial - language, geographic and local culture education in one.
When I was searching for the children's section of the store, I accidentally asked an employee where the books for little boys are. Oh well. He got the picture. And it wasn't as bad as Bibiana's English mistake in the subway. "Smells like semen," she said, which immediately puzzled me. It took some clarification before I realized she was trying to say "smells like cement."
The rest of the day Bibiana (a.k.a . Bibi) and I got our nails done at the salon, watched "The Painted Veil" at the cinema, and found children's books in Portuguese at a Borders-style bookstore. I walked out with 3 winners: Bibi Corta O Cabelo (perfect because Bibiana did just that hours ealier), Esop's Fables (with an activity booklet!), and "Barbie Conhece o Brasil." The final piece of literature is multi-beneficial - language, geographic and local culture education in one.
When I was searching for the children's section of the store, I accidentally asked an employee where the books for little boys are. Oh well. He got the picture. And it wasn't as bad as Bibiana's English mistake in the subway. "Smells like semen," she said, which immediately puzzled me. It took some clarification before I realized she was trying to say "smells like cement."
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I Meet Someone Unexpectedly
A couple nights ago I met someone awesome outside of work and we exchanged phone numbers.
It just so happens that this person is a girl. Her name is Luana and she speaks English very well because she used to live in Florida, selling snacks at DisneyWorld. Her job now at a local ad agency is slightly more prestigious, where co-workers dress as human beings instead of anthropomorphic animals.
I was struggling alone at the Pizza Rodízio place, trying to say "I didn't order that" when the server brought by a pizza. She stepped in to explain that at the rodízio you pay one price and they bring a variety to every table. It's all-you-can-eat pizza, which sounds grossly filling, but the pizzas are very thin so you can try many different kinds and not feel stuffed. And the dessert pizzas are included! Luana helped me order, then we chatted on and off and decided to go out sometime. I know she's not into women because she mentioned that we'd find some nice guys. Hot date with Luana hopefully to come...
It just so happens that this person is a girl. Her name is Luana and she speaks English very well because she used to live in Florida, selling snacks at DisneyWorld. Her job now at a local ad agency is slightly more prestigious, where co-workers dress as human beings instead of anthropomorphic animals.
I was struggling alone at the Pizza Rodízio place, trying to say "I didn't order that" when the server brought by a pizza. She stepped in to explain that at the rodízio you pay one price and they bring a variety to every table. It's all-you-can-eat pizza, which sounds grossly filling, but the pizzas are very thin so you can try many different kinds and not feel stuffed. And the dessert pizzas are included! Luana helped me order, then we chatted on and off and decided to go out sometime. I know she's not into women because she mentioned that we'd find some nice guys. Hot date with Luana hopefully to come...
My First Live Soccer Game!
Last night Ricardo & I went to a live game, where the beloved São Paulo fútbol team played the evil Flumenese Football Club from Rio. Unfortunately, we lost 0-1. I'm convinced it was because I didn't have a team jersey.
The stadium looks pretty empty because it started at 10 p.m. on a Wednesday night...plus everyone was sitting in our warmer, protected section. The fans were crazy, as expected, but one guy truly scared me. Every time I tried to take a picture of his tantrums he'd stop. All I could get was this one...
And here's me, happy even after our loss. I'm confident that all I need is that jersey and we'll crush them next time!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Avenida Paulista
Avenida Paulista is a long, 8-lane street and a great walk that passes through multiple neighborhoods. While it boasts the city's major financial institutions, there's plenty of shopping, movie theaters, bookstores, bars and restaurants to check out, too. The strip contains the Museum of Arte of São Paulo (MASP), as well as Feira do Bixiga, a Sunday flea market. But don't expect any signs to help you out as you stroll. You just have to sense where everything is.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Peeps in the Office
To everyone's great pleasure, I brought my camera to work today. Here's a glimpse of the fabulous people on the 5th floor.
Bibiana: "The Sweetheart"
Thomas: "The Optimization Workhorse"
Felipe (Felipinho): "The Feliz"
Leticia: "The Training Machine"
and Helio: "The Spare-Time Tool Creator"
Ricardo: "The Playful"
Franqui: "The Calm One"
Lidiane: "The Language Teacher"
João: "The Sociable"
Bibiana: "The Sweetheart"
Thomas: "The Optimization Workhorse"
Laura: "The Topper"
Felipe (Felipinho): "The Feliz"
Katia: "The Fashionable"
Leticia: "The Training Machine"and Helio: "The Spare-Time Tool Creator"
Fausto: "The Photogenic"
Ricardo: "The Playful"
Anna: "The Helper"
Franqui: "The Calm One"
Beth: "The Corinthians Favorite Girl"
Lidiane: "The Language Teacher"
Phil: "The Ladies Man"
João: "The Sociable"A Travel Tip For the Ladies
When visiting the country for an extended period of time, make sure to bring enough underwear. The reason is that Brazilian panties are not made for human butts. There is only one kind, which is 2-3 inches wide in the back - just small enough to give you a very uncomfortable wedgie whatever you're doing. What happened to the choice of thongs and granny panties (both much more comfy)? I suppose the women here have just gotten used to bulky panty lines under clothes. Why wouldn't they just wear thongs? This is Brazil, for God's sake! Everything about them in supposed to be sexy!
Brazil vs. Argentina
Why does the world even allow Brazil to participate in soccer competitions as a united team? It's just not fair. It's like having a worldwide origami competition with Japan. They should split up the team into regions.
Sunday night Brazil played Argentina in the final game of the American Cup. It was a big game, but I wouldn't call it very exciting because Brazil whooped Argie 3-0. Big surprise. According to my secret sources, Brazil right now isn't doing that well. So, normally they'd win by 6 goals? Boo hoo.
Bibiana & I experienced the game from a bar in Vila Madalena, where every single bar was packed with loud, green-and-yellow-clad Brasileros. From the back of the bar, each of us could see a slice of the game, which was obstructed by a large unnecessary column. Later we discovered that there was an enormous screen on the side of a building, which allowed hundreds of fans to watch the game from the main intersection. Very cool.
Sunday night Brazil played Argentina in the final game of the American Cup. It was a big game, but I wouldn't call it very exciting because Brazil whooped Argie 3-0. Big surprise. According to my secret sources, Brazil right now isn't doing that well. So, normally they'd win by 6 goals? Boo hoo.
Bibiana & I experienced the game from a bar in Vila Madalena, where every single bar was packed with loud, green-and-yellow-clad Brasileros. From the back of the bar, each of us could see a slice of the game, which was obstructed by a large unnecessary column. Later we discovered that there was an enormous screen on the side of a building, which allowed hundreds of fans to watch the game from the main intersection. Very cool.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
The Hotel Gym
My apart-hotel in São Paulo has a small gym, which is comprised of two treadmills, one stationary bike, one rowing machine, and one weight machine. Today I hopped onto the treadmill, which has a decent 3-sided view of the tall city buildings. With the treadmill at my desired speed, the machine itself seemed like a 300-pound man that had just run a marathon for the first and last time. Now, I run to get a good workout, but I was definitely not sprinting. Whatever 9.0 corresponds to in American-speed terms, it's not that much. I turned on my i-shuffle to drown out the horrible buzzing sound, and tried to ignore the image of the machine stopping suddenly and violently bucking me forward into the odometer & timer. The guy next to me seemed to also have this fear, because he would periodically punch the air in front of him, preparing for a quick defense. At least the hotel is consistent; the sound complements the piercing 10-second screech of my toilet after it's flushed.
As I ran, I thought about the night before. After hearing a band at a club, Henrique and I split off from the group and grabbed some food at a 24-hour bakery. All-you-can-eat soup, bread, fruit and dessert upstairs - how fabulous for a visiting American! San Francisco needs more of these late-night/early morning places. All we have are a few pizza places & crappy diners open until around 2.
Business ideas everywhere I turn...like the flanelinha, the guy who stands in front of your car and guards it, with or without your permission. When you return, you're silently pressured to giving him money for this "service." What a way to make money. This guy doesn't need a resumé, referrals or interview. He's automatically hired whether you like it or not.
I learn that the cheese paired with the popular formed guava jelly is known as "Romeo & Juliet." Cute. I wanted to put it on bread, but because bread and cheese are both "masculine" objects in Portuguese, I decided not to change the innocent teenage duo into a wild, dirty threesome with two males. (It was 4:30 in the morning and I was tired.)
As I ran, I thought about the night before. After hearing a band at a club, Henrique and I split off from the group and grabbed some food at a 24-hour bakery. All-you-can-eat soup, bread, fruit and dessert upstairs - how fabulous for a visiting American! San Francisco needs more of these late-night/early morning places. All we have are a few pizza places & crappy diners open until around 2.
Business ideas everywhere I turn...like the flanelinha, the guy who stands in front of your car and guards it, with or without your permission. When you return, you're silently pressured to giving him money for this "service." What a way to make money. This guy doesn't need a resumé, referrals or interview. He's automatically hired whether you like it or not.
I learn that the cheese paired with the popular formed guava jelly is known as "Romeo & Juliet." Cute. I wanted to put it on bread, but because bread and cheese are both "masculine" objects in Portuguese, I decided not to change the innocent teenage duo into a wild, dirty threesome with two males. (It was 4:30 in the morning and I was tired.)
Friday, July 13, 2007
Things I Will Miss From Here
- A daily housekeeper
- Greetings from people that don't sound fake (just ask Bibiana)
- Caipirinhas with tons of strawberries that get stuck in the straw
- A constantly generous, sharing culture (do people here go through Kindergarten twice to make sure they learn this?)
- Juicy, fresh papayas available every morning at work
- Good-looking men everywhere
- Rainless winters
- Feeling like I'm constantly beating the system because of the good dollar-real exchange rate
- Cheap massages
- Designated taxi stops
- Dental floss dispensers in many public & office bathrooms
Things I Miss From the U.S.
- Real fruit juice in the office (not loaded with sweeteners)
- Being able to put a large amount of toilet paper in the toilet and not having to worry about it flushing
- Free public tennis courts
- Family members & long-time friends who know when I'm joking
- Washing machines instead of expensive laundry services
- Enough clothes hangers in the closet
- The ability to fearlessly walk down the street wearing expensive jewelry or clothing
- Movies that aren't dubbed in higher-pitched voices
- Credit card machines in most taxis
- Peanut butter
- My nephew Jade
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Getting Rich
I sign up for Google AdSense. Aren't the ads on the right side of this page so fascinating and compelling?
Thanks Helio!
Thanks Helio!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
So You Wanna Learn Brazilian Portuguese?
Great! Here's lesson #1:
a. Speak as quickly as possible and slur your words.
b. Use thousands of words that have multiple meanings (ex: "ainda" means both "still" and "yet").
c. Abbreviate as many words as possible so foreigners haven't a clue. Obrigada is just "brigada." "Está bom" is "ta bom" or usually just "ta."
Lesson #2:
Make sure to use plenty of gestures. There is a strong Italian influence on the language as well as the culture. (Ex: Brazilians love pizza, and there's a pizza place on every block.)
Lesson #3:
To ask a question, say a statement with a higher intonation & emphasis at the end to catch the listener's attention.
Statement: Ele VAI a casa.
Question: Ele vai a CASA?
Lesson #4:
Don't trust the phrasebook. Nobody says that. See lesson #1c.
a. Speak as quickly as possible and slur your words.
b. Use thousands of words that have multiple meanings (ex: "ainda" means both "still" and "yet").
c. Abbreviate as many words as possible so foreigners haven't a clue. Obrigada is just "brigada." "Está bom" is "ta bom" or usually just "ta."
Lesson #2:
Make sure to use plenty of gestures. There is a strong Italian influence on the language as well as the culture. (Ex: Brazilians love pizza, and there's a pizza place on every block.)
Lesson #3:
To ask a question, say a statement with a higher intonation & emphasis at the end to catch the listener's attention.
Statement: Ele VAI a casa.
Question: Ele vai a CASA?
Lesson #4:
Don't trust the phrasebook. Nobody says that. See lesson #1c.
Traffic Control
There is so much traffic in São Paulo that the government stepped in to control it. Depending on which number your license plate ends with, you have a designated day of the week when your can't drive during rush hour (from 7-10 a.m. and 5-8 p.m). It's called the "rodízio." An interesting idea, but annoying I'm sure. Right now the transportation in the city is not very good. Bibiana says they're working on expanding the subway, but the project won't be finished until 2009. In the meantime, we just have to deal with the psychos behind the wheel.
Potato of the Leg
It's now Wednesday, and my calves are still sore. In Portuguese your calf is called "potato of the leg." I wonder what other vegetables we have on our bodies...
Roughing It - Part 2
Whoever told João that this was an easy hike either didn't understand our path or wanted the American to die. This was the hardest hike I have ever done in my life, and probably the hardest I will ever do.For the first day, we walked 7 hours up some seriously steep terrain. The last quarter was more like rock climbing. My pack weighed almost 25 pounds, and the pressure from the backpack dug into my collarbone, lower back and hip bones, so if I adjusted the pressure off one body part, another part would suffer even more.
My hiking stance included arms positioned at 45 degree angles in front of me attached to dangling hands. I looked like a tired T-Rex after a long day of hunting.
When we finally reached the summit on Saturday, the view was breathtaking. Layers of colored mountains fell on top of one another in all directions, and you could see the city of Rio de Janeiro begin to sparkle in the dusk.
João and I, however, were far from sparkling. We were both sick the day before, and the trip severely worsened our condition. Only later did we realize that both of us would have stayed home to recover, had we not felt bad about backing out on the other person. We were quarantined in the same tent and a complete mess. With white Vic's Vapo-rub smeared across half his face, he was incapable of even picking up a flashlight. I was coughing up the lovely remnants of chronic bronchitis. Both of us were terrified of going outside the tent because of the furious wind atop the literally freezing temperature.
Here was my terrible dilemma: Being sick, I knew I should drink lots of water. But drinking would mean more "bathroom" trips outside the comparative comfort of the small tent. I pulled out my Portuguese phrase book and turned to the section on health. Everything I read seemed to be perfect, and I started loudly saying things like:
-- I need a doctor who speaks English.
-- Could the doctor come here?
-- You need to be admitted to a hospital!
This seemed to cheer João up enough to groan a little quieter.
After waking up throughout the night because of the wind, the guide we hired loudly woke us up at 6:15 a.m. If we wanted to reach our next destination in time, we had to leave in 20 minutes. Four people decided to head back, and five continued. Although João and I didn't want to leave the group, we realized that our health was more important.
We tagged along with another group so as not to get completely lost in the wilderness. The leader, Marcelo, does the trek about twice a month. On the way down, Marcelo showed us the way to a pond and waterfall, where we cooked up a gourmet lunch of chicken cup o' noodles.
Another man in the group was a gym teacher, and said I am the only American he's come across who tries to speak Portuguese.
After the hiking adventure, Marcelo gives us a ride to his hometown of Rio, where we catch a bus home. It took THREE buses to get there so this is much better. He insisted we come back to Rio soon so he can show us around. I wondered if this was typical for Brazil, but it turns out it's a rarity to find someone so generous.
Despite the challenges, the people were great and the excursion was worth it.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Biro Biro
As the employees are aware, the printers in every office of the company have individual names. In the last building I worked in, we had printers by car names. The printers in the Sào Paulo office are named appropriately - by famous fútbol players. The two color printers are the big guys, Ronaldo and Zico. The others are black and white. Biro Biro is the one right next to me. I love Biro Biro, because he actually works 100% of the time. I miss some things in the U.S., but I definitely don't miss Mystery Machine.
Roughing It
Next Monday is a holiday, so I'm enjoying the 3-day weekend by going camping and hiking with a large group. João is the only one I know. It's a 6-hour bus ride to get to our destination, a national park called Serra dos Órgãos. Photos of this place are absolutely gorgeous - just Google it. We'll walk about 7 miles a day with a guide to lead us through the mountains. It doesn't sound too exhausting, but then again, it's been a long time since I've walked 21 miles with my necessary belongings, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, and 3 days of food on my back.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Fausto's Addition
Fausto reads the last real posting, and says I should add that they were gentlemen, and it was such a great time! (This is true.)
My First Caipirinha
Wednesday night, Fausto & Felipe take me out to a local bar that's packed. Let me stress two words - WEDNESDAY, and PACKED. I've heard that a caipirinha, the classic Brazilian drink, is like a mojito. I try one. Wow. Nothing like a mojito. It's about 10 times stronger. I have two, which is quite enough for someone who's 5'4".
Our entire team meeting, called TGIF at headquarters, has the same name here but actually takes place on Thursday. I guess TGIT sounds too rebellious. The reason for the change of day is that a lot of people in this office want to leave work early on Friday. Makes sense. Why don't we do this?
At the end of the meeting, they make me do a dance - a tradition for anyone new. I show them the moves the 2-year-old boy I used to babysit for would always do, which just involves squatting halfway down and back up repeatedly. Good thing it wasn't on video.
Our entire team meeting, called TGIF at headquarters, has the same name here but actually takes place on Thursday. I guess TGIT sounds too rebellious. The reason for the change of day is that a lot of people in this office want to leave work early on Friday. Makes sense. Why don't we do this?
At the end of the meeting, they make me do a dance - a tradition for anyone new. I show them the moves the 2-year-old boy I used to babysit for would always do, which just involves squatting halfway down and back up repeatedly. Good thing it wasn't on video.
Just to mess me up even more...
I'm really enjoying learning the language. In fact, here I get to do two of the most enjoyable things I know - speaking a foreign language and getting to know new people.
What makes it extra tricky are the different accents. Even in the state of São Paulo (different than the city), there are 33 main districts, and each one has a different accent. I've already heard three different correct ways to say "Boa noite" ("good night"). You can pronounce it:
1. "boa noychay"
2. "boa noytay"
3. "boa noych"
Because the city of São Paulo has people from all over the state, the multiple styles of speech are all around.
What makes it extra tricky are the different accents. Even in the state of São Paulo (different than the city), there are 33 main districts, and each one has a different accent. I've already heard three different correct ways to say "Boa noite" ("good night"). You can pronounce it:
1. "boa noychay"
2. "boa noytay"
3. "boa noych"
Because the city of São Paulo has people from all over the state, the multiple styles of speech are all around.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Differences in Benefits
This week I see an email announcing a free movie outing for the MV team. I'm jealous for a second. Then I notice that the movie is Transformers. Ha!
Plus, half-hour table massages here are 10 reais. That's about 6 dollars! The massage beats the movie, no contest.
Now, there isn't dinner here, but this gives me an opportunity to enjoy the great local restaurants.
Another thing this office doesn't offer: Portuguese lessons. What gives?
Plus, half-hour table massages here are 10 reais. That's about 6 dollars! The massage beats the movie, no contest.
Now, there isn't dinner here, but this gives me an opportunity to enjoy the great local restaurants.
Another thing this office doesn't offer: Portuguese lessons. What gives?
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
First Day at Work
Roberto, whom I should refer to as Driver/Only Friend, takes me to a small town called Embu. It's Sunday, so there's booths set up along the streets selling all sorts of everything. I'm most interested in the art. These local artists are not too shabby; I consider buying a few times, but hold off, knowing there is plenty of time to scope the entire scene before committing.
We hit up a churrascaria, where servers bring all kinds of tasty meat to your table. There's a small sign that you control to signal that you want more, or no thanks. Turns out the servers ignore this and bring every kind of meat imaginable anyway. I get so full, I barely need any dinner.
On Monday, Laura Prado introduces me to everyone in the office in one fell swoop. Afterwards I realize that I don't recall more than two of their names...and those I already knew from before. I speak a few Portuguese words - sounding not quite as advanced as a two-year old - to my neighbor in the next cube, Bibiana. When I convey how difficult the pronunciation of the language is based on the spelling, I learn an interesting statistic. About 70% of people who speak Portuguese can understand Spanish, but only 40% of people who speak Spanish can understand Portuguese. This does not surprise me. I realize that the definition of Portuguese is the slurring of Spanish and Italian, with half of the words cut short.
As for the baggage disaster, after three days and many, many phone calls, the duffel finally and miraculously finds its way to my room. To my shock, everything seems to be accounted for. I don't care if it's materialistic - I was happy.
Since Driver/Only Friend gets paid to take me around, I use his company to walk around my new neighborhood. The restaurants and bars are all inviting, somehow even when they're empty. Roberto has very good English, but constantly uses the phrase "make confusion," which I decide not to correct. It's like my own inside joke with myself.
By the second day at work, I start to make some real buddies. Thomas is the main Optimizer, who is polite and actually seems to trust my optimization skills. Felipe and I make group plans for dinner the next night. João is very friendly, and I repay him by repeatedly pronouncing his name wrong. Beth becomes my two-time lunch partner. Phil moved here from New York 10 years ago, and it seems strange hearing an American dialect again. Katia goes to a cheap nail salon and says I can come. I get sushi for dinner with Bibiana - my first event without Roberto. Sushi is very common here, because Brazil holds the largest population of Japanese people outside of Japan. I start to learn that people in Brazil are very nice; the cars are not. Don't expect cars to stop. Ever.
Anna Smith IMs me from MV asking if Brazilian waxing here is just called waxing. I say I don't know yet, but that's making it in the blog.
We hit up a churrascaria, where servers bring all kinds of tasty meat to your table. There's a small sign that you control to signal that you want more, or no thanks. Turns out the servers ignore this and bring every kind of meat imaginable anyway. I get so full, I barely need any dinner.
On Monday, Laura Prado introduces me to everyone in the office in one fell swoop. Afterwards I realize that I don't recall more than two of their names...and those I already knew from before. I speak a few Portuguese words - sounding not quite as advanced as a two-year old - to my neighbor in the next cube, Bibiana. When I convey how difficult the pronunciation of the language is based on the spelling, I learn an interesting statistic. About 70% of people who speak Portuguese can understand Spanish, but only 40% of people who speak Spanish can understand Portuguese. This does not surprise me. I realize that the definition of Portuguese is the slurring of Spanish and Italian, with half of the words cut short.
As for the baggage disaster, after three days and many, many phone calls, the duffel finally and miraculously finds its way to my room. To my shock, everything seems to be accounted for. I don't care if it's materialistic - I was happy.
Since Driver/Only Friend gets paid to take me around, I use his company to walk around my new neighborhood. The restaurants and bars are all inviting, somehow even when they're empty. Roberto has very good English, but constantly uses the phrase "make confusion," which I decide not to correct. It's like my own inside joke with myself.
By the second day at work, I start to make some real buddies. Thomas is the main Optimizer, who is polite and actually seems to trust my optimization skills. Felipe and I make group plans for dinner the next night. João is very friendly, and I repay him by repeatedly pronouncing his name wrong. Beth becomes my two-time lunch partner. Phil moved here from New York 10 years ago, and it seems strange hearing an American dialect again. Katia goes to a cheap nail salon and says I can come. I get sushi for dinner with Bibiana - my first event without Roberto. Sushi is very common here, because Brazil holds the largest population of Japanese people outside of Japan. I start to learn that people in Brazil are very nice; the cars are not. Don't expect cars to stop. Ever.
Anna Smith IMs me from MV asking if Brazilian waxing here is just called waxing. I say I don't know yet, but that's making it in the blog.
The Arrival
The people around the baggage carousel from my flight begin to thin out. I practice a Zen-like patience for as long as I can. When the carousel finally stops and my black duffel bag is nowhere in sight, I panic. Angelo, the kind man who practiced Portuguese with me on the plane from Chicago, helps me speak to United baggage claim. It's a good thing, because if I were to talk the words would not have been very nice. It's a simple procedure - San Francisco to Chiacgo to São Paulo. Or so you'd think.
Now, lost baggage would not have been a major problem, had one of the following not happen:
1. I was in such a rush the night before that I didn't print out the hotel address. In the morning I realize it's ok because the driver will meet me at the airport.
2. I did not find the driver who was meeting me. You see, there was a very important email that wasn't sent until after my flight. This email depicted the sign the driver would hold - not my name, not the company I work for. Simply the name of the car service company.
So Angelo goes online, finds the hotel that seems to be called "The Address" in São Paulo, and we write that down as the contact info for my lost baggage claim. I agree with the employee that I will call tomorrow and give them all the correct info, including my local phone number.
An hour later I still can't find the driver. Angelo, which coincidentally means "angel," assists me in finding an internet cafe in the airport where I can check email. There I get the phone number for my driver and the sign I was supposed to find. We call from Angelo's phone and finally meet the driver, Roberto.
Things are looking up. That is, until United doesn't wait for my call. Instead, they say they delivered the bag...and I realize the address we provided is not for my hotel.
Roberto and I drive the streets of São Paulo with hope and desperation (more desperation than hope), looking for the other address. It turns out to be another hotel (thank God, at least it's not a random house), but they don't have it.
My first day of work starts tomorrow. It's a good thing I work at a casual company, because the only footwear I have are my tennis shoes. Oh, and all my socks, underwear and toiletries are in the other bag, too.
Now, lost baggage would not have been a major problem, had one of the following not happen:
1. I was in such a rush the night before that I didn't print out the hotel address. In the morning I realize it's ok because the driver will meet me at the airport.
2. I did not find the driver who was meeting me. You see, there was a very important email that wasn't sent until after my flight. This email depicted the sign the driver would hold - not my name, not the company I work for. Simply the name of the car service company.
So Angelo goes online, finds the hotel that seems to be called "The Address" in São Paulo, and we write that down as the contact info for my lost baggage claim. I agree with the employee that I will call tomorrow and give them all the correct info, including my local phone number.
An hour later I still can't find the driver. Angelo, which coincidentally means "angel," assists me in finding an internet cafe in the airport where I can check email. There I get the phone number for my driver and the sign I was supposed to find. We call from Angelo's phone and finally meet the driver, Roberto.
Things are looking up. That is, until United doesn't wait for my call. Instead, they say they delivered the bag...and I realize the address we provided is not for my hotel.
Roberto and I drive the streets of São Paulo with hope and desperation (more desperation than hope), looking for the other address. It turns out to be another hotel (thank God, at least it's not a random house), but they don't have it.
My first day of work starts tomorrow. It's a good thing I work at a casual company, because the only footwear I have are my tennis shoes. Oh, and all my socks, underwear and toiletries are in the other bag, too.
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