Standard Living Arrangements

People in Brazil generally live with their families until they get married. Locals might translate this to great family bonding, scrumptious home-cooked meals each day, and emotional and financial support. Americans would translate this to something else: ruining your game.

"It's Not What It Looks Like"

Working hours at the company, at least in my department, are generally 9 am to 6 pm. At one of the most successful and fastest-growing businesses in the world, you can imagine what kind of workaholic over-achievers abound in the office. Pair that with constant understaffing and set goals that affect your quarterly bonus, and you've got some serious late-workers. In fact, the HR department recently had a discussion with us about this. Being that it was in Portuguese, I only understood about half of it...but I'm sure I got the important part.

My boss here, Rapha, is fabulous. But he's seen me work late hours too often, toiling away in furrowed-brow concentration, and now instructs me to leave if it's a hair after 6. It's a kind of reverse workplace mentality. The only thing that will satisfy him is if I'm actually emailing friends or writing in my blog. Sometimes he sneaks by and firmly says "Go home!" with an accusational pointed finger. If I'm just browsing the Net, I blurt out my defense: "It's not what it looks like! It's not work, I swear!" Funny how this is something my boss actually wants to hear.

The Best Nearby Beach

Maresias.
Just so happens to be the only beach I've seen in Brazil so far, but my secret sources confirm that it's the best one close to São Paulo. Other than that, it's Rio baby, and that's a 5 hour drive.

I took off with Phil, his girl Ana (the blond one), and Ana's big sister (brunette)...also named Ana.

Our destination, Maresias, is a long, beautiful stretch of sand with plenty of surfers, gorgeous bodies, and mouth-watering real fruit popsicle vendors (try the coconut!) to cool you down.

Unfortunately, we didn't need much cooling, because the sun was timid all weekend. Winter in Brazil has unpredictable weather. It can be lovely one day and very cold the next. And so we greatly enjoyed our retreats to the sauna of "Melrose Place," the nickname the locals give to the rental house complex.

The town is different than a typical California beach town - much more rugged and made for the "common man". There are no ultra-expensive stores or posh restaurants in sight. As refreshing as the sea itself.

A Classic Piece of Local Literature

One of my greatest accomplishments thus far: I finish my first book in Portuguese. Turns out "Barbie Gets To Know Brazil" was a wise purchase. It's right up my alley. Barbie guides the reader through the various vast regions of Brazil in just 21 pages (23 if you count the pages where Barbie asks you to write about your favorite place and attach a vacation photo). So it's no Grapes of Wrath, as books donned with glitter usually don't win the Pulitzer, or any prize. But it was the perfect piece of literature for me at this stage of my language development. Highly recommended for travelers like me, or 8 to 12-year-old Brazilian girls.

One of the Nicest Local Restaurants

Fogo de Chão is a top quality churrascaria, and there's locations in the U.S. as well:

http://www.fogodechao.com/index.htm

On top of the mouthwatering seasoned meats on giant skewers, Fogo de Chão has the best pão de queijo I've had (Brazilian rolls of bread blended with cheese). For an appetizer, we received calabresa (sausage) and chicken hearts. I thought even smelling the chicken hearts was brave enough.

After dinner I talk to my friend from Buenos Aires, Chris, about how I haven't been to the beach here yet. He informs me that there are pesky biting ants at many beaches, but if you take vitamin B-12 (or some B vitamin) there's a detectable scent that repels them. He bought the "vitamin" from the drugstore, which I wanted to take until I read the package. Among its multiple ingredients is stomach mucus. Don't think that would make the menu at Fogo de Chão.

I Did Not Take These Beautiful Photos

Eric Nomura, brother of the lovely Mari Nomura, took these photographs in Brazil a few weeks ago. I don't know what Eric does for a living but he might want to consider switching careers...

A fort on Morro de Sao Paulo, an island off the coast of Salvador

The stunning Iguaçu Falls in the South

I would never have gotten that close!

I am tourist - hear me roar!

I don't think this needs a caption

Is that Mari's butt?

Tiny hummingbird

World-Class Customer Service

The other day I tasted such scrumptious, moist banana cake at the hotel that I was determined to get the recipe. I asked trusty Luciano at reception if they were willing to divulge their culinary secrets. Apparently they are. He promised to bring it to my room, and sure enough, there was an envelope on the round glass dining table when I returned home.

Inside the envelope I found a typed recipe with a handwritten message. It said he's sure with my Portuguese skills I could read everything, but if I have any doubts (people in Portuguese confuse the word 'doubts' with 'questions') he would be happy to help. The speed and personal touch demonstrated excellent customer service. But Luciano went above and beyond, adding an extra element that was unexpected. He snuck in a pin with the hotel logo. Actually it looks more like a family shield. Now, I don't normally wear pins, in fact the last time I wore one I was about...well, actually I don't think I've ever worn one. I didn't even know pins were still in production. Will I wear one advertising a particular hotel? That's besides the point. It's a free gift - how fabulous! I shall treasure it always.

It's this kind of customer service that keep people coming back and referring your business to others. Bravo!

As I strolled along the street to check out the shops, I went inside a cheap jeans store. There I stumbled upon another item I didn't know was still being manufactured: jean vests. I thought about whether this could be the current style, whether I'd seen anyone wearing a jean vest since I'd arrived. To my comfort, the answer was no.

The women's style right now is 80s revival, complete with black stretch pants and screaming bright pink tops. Also, an alarming number of shirts in all stores have English phrases written on them. It's not hard to find the teen-targeted tees that say thing like "You're the one I've been waiting for" or "Stop looking at my breasts." Some are idiotic, some slutty, and some are clearly sold only to people who can't read English.

In this same jeans store, a young saleswoman had a different customer service approach than Luciano. Her method was to make fun of and slightly insult the customer. She asked what size I am, and said something I couldn't understand while patting her butt and laughing. It all became clear when she brought back two pairs of jeans, both sporting a giant tag that read 'Maxi Buum.' I didn't even ask if buum with two u's is even bigger than regular bum. I like the hotel pin better.

False Friends

"False friends are words that may sound similar in two or more languages but in actuality mean different things."
-Wikipedia

Here some English-Portuguese falsies:

• largo - wide, not large
• longe - far, not long
• novela - soap opera, not novel
• propaganda - advertising, not political propaganda
• receipt – recibo, not receita
• estúpido - rude, not stupid
  
• puxe – pull, not push (this was the worst, resulting in many temporary door wars)

Dire Need Of A Chiropractor

Yesterday was a proud day. I completed 16 full laps in the heated pool. Breaststroke counts as swimming, right? Sure; legs and arms are moving consistently in water. This may have been the most swimming I've done in 15 years.

I thought I was using the correct form. They taught me in swim school when I was 6 to scrape the giant bowl of cookie dough and then bring it towards your mouth. I scraped! A huge bowl! And my legs moved like a frog's in between the scrapes. What am I missing?

Everything was fine until this morning when I couldn't move my neck in any direction more than 1 inch. It's 7 pm and I still have to turn my entire body around to look at people. I had no idea breaststroke was such a dangerous activity! Next time I'll just do butterfly.

Art and Music at MASP

Yesterday I headed to the city's most famous museum, MASP (Museo de Arte de São Paulo). I knew none of the locals would be as interested, so I made the excursion solo. There is something wonderful about seeing art alone, as if you can have a deeper, more meaningful experience with each piece. On the other hand, I do like going with other people, so I can ask what their favorite in each room was.

My favorites of this collection were Renoir's "Menina Com as Espigas" for the color palette, and Lady Callcott Graham's "Panorama De Baia De Guanabara" for the unique panoramic design. The Italian section of art was a little unnerving as I found myself surrounded by what seemed like way too many Virgin Marys, Baby Jesuses and Christs on the cross. It was like a carnival fun house mirrors with a religious twist.

I couldn't read a lot of the descriptions, but I did quickly figure out that "retrato" is "portrait" and "nu" is "nude." The Darwin exhibit had just ended and the new exhibit wasn't up yet. Surprisingly, this left just one floor of art.

As I was leaving the museum, I stumbled up on a concert that was going to start in two minutes. The program said something about violão, which I know to be guitar, so I bought tickets and took the last front row seat. I was in for an unexpected treat.

The concert featured the Duo Siqeira Lima, two classical guitarists playing simultaneously. The program had a hefty artist biography which I was able to catch bits and pieces of. The last paragraph read:

"O que principalmente nos envolve é sua sonoridade clara e objetiva, como um brilhante, perfeito em todas as faces. On sentido musical, com toda sua flexibilidade interpretiva, possui um acabamento perfeito e é trabalhado com todas suas nuances colorísticas, mostrando um completo conhecimento do instrumento e de suas reais possibilidades."

This basically translated to "they rock!" It's beautiful enough to hear one amazing guitarist, but two side by side is a whole new level of depth. They seem to take you through he entire range of emotion, from joy to jealousy, anxiety to admiration.

And the most engaging part for me was that one of them was a woman. To see a female perform on guitar with such incredible skill is rare. Bonnie Raitt is up there, and I have a soft spot for French model-turned-singer (yeah, I said model) Carla Bruni. But in rock music, you learn some chords and repeat. Sheryl Crow and Jewel come to mind. In a related category of women, Ruyter Suys said Courtney Love "uses her guitar as a necklace not as an instrument."

From my perspective, classical guitar takes much more talent as it has a vastly more complicated composition. I was mesmerized by Uruguay-born Cecilia and the insane speed and dexterity of her fingers as they danced with every section of the strings.

Like jazz, there were no words to distract from the music, so your mind could focus on the instrument sounds. You can also easily wander into your own thoughts. You are in control of what the songs say, what they're about.

I was also happy to discover that I'm not the only one who confuses "Good morning," "good afternoon" and "good night." Fernando Lima said "Boa tarde" and then corrected himself with "Boa noite." Everyone laughed so I must have missed something with the language barrier, as usual.

The audience excitedly gave multiple standing ovations. I did my best to ignore the cheesy photo on the back of their CD where they stare happily at one another, his arm around her, and made my first Brazilian music purchase.

Battle of the Taxi Drivers

All the taxi drivers are part of a three-month competition to see who's the best. They just don't know it. And they can't just win by being safe, speedy and friendly. To be at the top, they need to stand out. The current standings are:

Last place: The guy that didn't give me the correct change and jipped me $6.00. Bad karma to him. Wait, does wishing him bad karma bring me bad karma?

Second to last place: The old, catatonic cabbie I had tonight, who I think drove us to the border of Bolivia before we made it to Sushi Isao in the Liberdade district.

First runner-up: The chivalrous man who got out of the car to hold my backpack while I got in, and then again when I got out.

First place: The only cab driver who asked if I needed a receipt before I requested one. She is also the only female driver I've had.

First Meal in the New Hotel

My first dinner in the hotel restaurant was just shy of 11:00, so I asked for a good, light recommendation and I quickly ordered it as they were about the close. The meal arrived on a plate about 20 inches in diameter, with a massive mound of fettucine smothered in cream sauce and a steak the size of a bag of popped popcorn. Good Lord, what does this woman suggest for people who are starved?

Goodbye Evil Treadmill, You Shall Live a Miserable & Lonely Life

I've written before about the viciousness of the treadmills at The Address Cidade Jardim Hotel. My last experience confirmed their capacity for evil. As I was chugging along, minding my own business, the emergency stop jumped off the magnetic circle, trying to propel me forward and injure multiple body parts at once. Fortunately, I was able to stop quicker than the machine expected. Ha! Five minutes later it attacked again, sucking the life out of my i-shuffle battery just as NIN’s “Closer” came on. Then I was pissed.

But I had the last laugh, because I switched hotels and now the treadmills have no company at all. I didn’t change solely because of my rocky relationship with the exercise equipment. There were building-wide problems of slow drains, insufficient insulation, consistently decreasing water pressure, and hideous toilet noises. I also thought it would be great to have a stove for home-cooked meals and freezer for ice cream and pizza.

And so, with the company’s consent, I transferred myself and my belongings (including the 4 tiny packets of salt that the old hotel charged me for) to the Gran Estanconfor Itaim. The hotel is much larger, and better located in the midst of more shopping, restaurants and bars. There is a heated lap pool, two TVs even in the one-bedroom apartment, and real hangers instead of the two-piece kind.

I've already used the treadmill and so far she's very kind. Life at home is good.

Hot Date

Luana and I did meet up again - at a bar with about 10 of her co-workers. At the end, we got our bill with a free round of drinks. Certain places will do this for large groups if the tab is high enough and you ask.

Then, on Tuesday, I went to her house, where we ordered pizza and listened to different kinds of Brazilian music. I haven't figured out yet which groups, styles or songs I prefer, but I liked what I heard. Interesting tidbit: Portuguese does not have an equivalent translation for "song" - it's just "music."

She also made brigadeiro, a traditional Brazilian candy made from chocolate and condensed milk. It's typically topped with chocolate sprinkles or coconut flakes. Talk about tasty.

We planned to hang out again this weekend, which would be our third date, so I guess you could say it's getting pretty serious...

Happy Hour at Cachaça University

For Luciano's birthday, a group from work went to the bar Cachaça University. Somehow, the birthday boy is the only one I didn't get a photo of. Geez, Luciano, you must have been in the bathroom for a while...

Bibiana's impressions of everyone were spot on. She's in the back of the first photo, resembling a moose. Supposedly I say "muito divertido" ("very fun") in a peppy voice all the time. But then, she does all American voices in a Valley Girl voice.

Henrique

Raquel, Rodrigo, and Jason, our special visitor

Thomas, Laura (left) and Luciano's wife (right)

Me, Felipe, Beth and Lidiane

Beth's name is the only one I hate to say in Portuguese. It's pronounced "Betch." Too close for comfort, especially for such a gentle personality.

Formal vs. Casual Communication

I came into work the other day and over my papaya and granola breakfast, excitedly shared the latest lesson I learned from my Portuguese workbook. I explained how I could use the shortened version of "it" and "them." For instance:

Quando Paulo pega nas filhos de escola? (When does Paulo pick up the kids from school?)
O Paulo nos pega à tarde. (He picks them up in the afternoon.)

As soon as the words come out of my mouth, Franqui says "yeah, we don't really say that. It's very formal."

What? All my efforts the night before down the drain!

In fact, a lot of spoken Portuguese is much more casual than the written, taught language. There are verbal shortcuts for everything. Portuguese speakers are either very efficient, lazy, rebellious, or all three.

Kissing Behavior

The men are much more aggressive when you go out in Brazil. They'll grab your arm or your waist just to get your attention. If you're really lucky, you'll get a winner like I did who grabs your arm tighter if you try to pull away towards the bathroom. Really makes you want to go out with the guy. You can also expect the guy to come on strong and quick for a kiss. A conversation may go like this:
"Can I kiss you?"
"No thanks."
"Why not?"
"Because I just met you."
"That was an hour ago."
"Exactly."
"C'mon...You should experience a Brazilian kiss."
"One day maybe I will."
"Why not with me now?"
"Well, I don't remember your name..."

Don't they realize they're decreasing their chances even more as they speak?

The good news is that it's not hard to start conversations, and there's plenty of opportunities for an ego boost when you need it.

On the other hand, there's the other kind of kiss which you do all the time - the beside-the-cheek kiss when you say hello or goodbye. This practice is by no means limited to Brazil, but America was out of the loop on that one, and it's a shame. It's such a warm and friendly way to greet people. Basically what you're doing is matching your actions to your words. you're not saying "good seeing you," you're showing it.

The number of kisses depends on the region. For example, São Paulo natives give one kiss, Rio natives give two.

A Couple Good Bars

For local bars, there seems to be a theme emerging - people dancing downstairs, and people watching them from upstairs. This was the case at Pucci, where we went for Katia's birthday, as well as Kiaora. Both are great spots. Pucci had more dance/electronic music, and Kiaora had a live rock cover band. It's funny to hear so much American music when you go out. Somtimes they'll throw in something older, too. I wouldn't expect a dance club to play a song off August & Everything After by Counting Crows, but it's refreshing to hear something so different.

Gimp

Someone was telling me about a website, or band, or something, and wrote it on a post-it for me. The name was just one word. But now I can't remember what it was for, so I just have a post-it that says "Gimp" placed in my office cube wall.